Nov
08

It’s been a few weeks since I wrote What it’s like to be a food allergy mom.  It was a tough post to write and still gives me a lump in my throat when I read it. I’d like to thank all of you for your calls, comments here on the blog and on Facebook and twitter.

As difficult as it is to walk this road of being a family with life-threatening food allergies, it is comforting to have the support of others, especially those of you going through the same thing. Friends like Wendy, one of my first food allergy mom-mentors, who sent me an email shortly after I wrote that post, specifically to share her donut recipe.

Donuts.

A point of pain and regret in my post… that my daughter had never eaten them, and I hadn’t made them for her, despite her asks. Interestingly, that line about donuts has been quoted back to me a number of times since I wrote it… from people who have felt exactly the same way.

Donuts.

We do so much for our children and yet we sometimes can’t see past what we can’t do (or haven’t been able to do… yet) and focus on the positives. What we can do, the many obstacles we have already overcome, or simply taking solace in the fact that we do the very best we can, every damn day, for our children. To keep them alive, safe, included, happy.

The donuts are symbolic.

Last week my little one had an encounter with another child at school that needed attention. A little boy wanted to be her friend, but she didn’t want to play with him. His mom and I witnessed my daughter basically blow him off and ignore him.  The boy was upset, the mom was upset. I was upset. My four year old needed a strong reminder of manners, kindness and respect. I spoke with her (many times), the director at school, and the other student’s mom. I was able to help my little one turn it around… and this week has been going much better.

And as challenging as this situation was, you know what I kept thinking? I am so happy to be dealing with a normal, developmental issue for this child… and not worrying about if she is safe with her food allergies.

Donuts.

I wish I could say that everything got better after I wrote that post. But the fact is it got harder. There are new foods on our allergy lists (I sobbed), there was Halloween to contend with (holy anxiety) and I’m spending time researching schools for starting Kindergarten next year (hold me, please).

But what I was reminded of was that it’s important to share those fears, worries and anxieties. That sharing helps me, and it helps you, too. Some of you told me you shared that post with your family to help them understand what you go through… I hope that helped increase awareness, and in turn, the safety of your children.

Oh, yes, support helps. Remember Wendy who sent me her donut recipe? I headed to the store the next day in search of donut pans (who knew there were donut pans?!). I ended up buying a donut maker instead… it makes mini-sized donuts and it only takes a few minutes  to cook each batch. My kiddos were sooo excited – not only to make the batter and bake the donuts, but to decorate them as well.

And me? I felt so much gratitude, and a tiny bit proud, to be able to give my daughter this food she had dreamed of.

Donuts!

 

You can find more of my food allergy posts, tips & recipes on my Food Allergy page. I’d also love to connect with you on my Marketing Mama facebook page and twitter. This post, and all posts on this blog, are written from my experiences as a parent of a child with food allergies. I am not a medical expert and encourage you to consult with a doctor on your personal medical situation.
 
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2 Responses to “…and then there were donuts”

 
  1. Yay! I loved your previous post, and it did make me a little teary.

    I too think Halloween is anxiety-making for entirely different reasons: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/26/halloween-forecast-cloudy-with-a-chance-of-diabetes/#postComment

    Hang in there!

    • Missy says:

      thanks for the note, Sarah! Just read your post on Motherlode… this year for the first time a doctor informed me that halloween is tough for diabetic kids, too. And I had an aha moment for the first time. Although I don’t know many children with diabetes (I’ve only come across one) but I know many with food allergies. either way, it’s an interesting situation to be in – collecting candy and then unable to eat it. Thanks for your comment – I wish you and your children good health! :)

 

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