Posts from ‘Parenting’
My first stop in the morning is always to my children’s bedrooms to say “good morning.” Yesterday I found these two cuties having fun together in Alex’s room. I was struck by their sleepy eyes, messy hair and big smiles. And in their cute pajama sets and Avery in her robe. It was one of those moments I wanted to remember forever. So much so that I had an overwhelming urge to go find my phone so I could take a picture. And even though it turned out grainy and a bit blurry, it captured the essence – the love and happiness – of the moment. And the graininess is reminiscent of the pictures my parents took of me when I was a kid in the ’70s. I loved the moment and I loved the picture of the moment. I can already imagine showing it to them when they’re teenagers.
When my marriage ended, nearly five years ago, I didn’t know anyone my age who had been through the same thing, especially not anyone with small children. I longed for someone to talk to who would understand first hand what I was going through.
Now, sadly, more and more of my friends are also getting divorced. Nearly every month or so I get a call or email from a friend, acquaintance or blog reader looking for advice and comfort – hoping to talk to someone who understands. And while I’m always sad to hear about anyone struggling in their relationship, I’m grateful I’m able to lend an ear and offer a few tidbits of experience that may help.
I’m certainly no expert on divorce, nor do I want to be. I’m not an attorney or counselor or a minister and I’m certainly not a relationship expert. But as someone who has been through a divorce, I know some of my personal experiences can help others when they find themselves in this very difficult situation. Here are some of the things I share with friends looking for help:
Last month we traveled to Florida by airplane. It was the first time my children have flown, and it was a very big deal for us, especially since my daughter has severe food allergies. She is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts (all other nuts), shellfish, eggs and melons. I had many concerns getting ready for the trip – I was worried about peanut residue on the plane and if people would be eating peanuts around us.
I’m happy to report everything went well. Here are some of things we did to prepare:
Last night each of my kids had a friend stay over. And my house is super clean. What just happened?!
We don’t have friends spend the night very often. My kids spend every other weekend with their Dad, for starters, and on the weekends they’re with me, we usually have plans that would make it impossible to host sleepovers.
But this weekend, it finally worked out for both kids to invite a friend over (after weeks of trying to coordinate with other parents). I wondered if having four kids instead of two would be challenging, but it was a breeze. Everyone got along well and had a great time. And me? I’m over the moon happy that I spent a quiet weekend at home and was able to catch up on some things. And my house is cleaner than it was before.
A few days ago, my son was in the ER, transferred to a second hospital by ambulance and admitted overnight. To respect his privacy, I’m not sharing details about my son’s illness. Thankfully, he was discharged from the hospital and is back at school, in good spirits and doing well. Like most parents, my focus was 100% on my son and making sure he was well taken care of while everything was happening. But after everything had settled, I needed to take time to process what had happened. That’s what this poem is about. Thanks everyone for your support, we really appreciate it.
when children are sick.
not just cough, cold, sneeze, vomit sick,
but life-threatening, rush to the ER sick.
luckily I’ve only had to face this horror
a couple of times in my life – ambulances,
too many doctors and nurses and
repeating myself and questioning everything,
advocating and watching like a mother (bear)
to make sure nothing (else) bad happens.