Posts from ‘reflections’
We don’t keep secrets in our family, but we can keep surprises.
Secrets are usually something bad that can hurt someone, while surprises are something good, such as a present!
Along with that, I’ve taught my children that if any adults ever say to them, “Don’t tell your Mom (or Dad) about this,” that it’s VERY important they tell me right away and I will never be mad at them for doing so. Grown ups only say that if they did something wrong, but when it comes to the safety of my children, I need to know about it. Adults should not be forming secrets with children, period. It’s not healthy for the kids and it sets up a bad power dynamic between the adult and the child. Feeling the pressure of keeping a secret for an adult can create unneeded stress and anxiety for children.
The same goes true the other way – babysitters and teachers should never say to a child “I won’t tell your Mom (or Dad) about this” in order to cover up for the child. I know sometimes people are tempted to do this. The child might plead, “Please don’t tell my mom or dad.” Or the adult might use it as leverage, “I won’t tell your parents about this IF… ” which is also unfair to the child.
Kids make mistakes. Adults make mistakes. But when we keep them secret, they can become shameful, embarrassing and can even be hurtful when they come out later.
This morning from my seven year old:
“Mom, I don’t want to go to school today.
And it’s not because I hate school.
It’s because I want to spend more time with you.”
My first thought was “ouch” and my second thought was “she’s getting good at this.”
And my response:
“Didn’t we just spend all day together yesterday? Didn’t we have so much fun at the Farmer’s Market and relaxing at home and eating a special dinner and going for frozen yogurt?”
I’ve been missing a very special ring for months. It has a lot of sentimental value and I save it for special occasions, which is why I wore it last summer to my 20th high school reunion. I haven’t seen it since.
I’ve searched high and low for this ring, pulled out my bed, the dresser, went through all my drawers… to no avail. I was thinking about my ring yesterday and a colleague suggested I pray to St. Anthony to help me find it.
So last night, before I fell asleep, I asked St. Anthony, out loud, if he could help me find the ring. I think there is a famous little prayer you can find on the internet for St. Anthony, but I went with a heart felt prayer.
We went to see Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Musical at the Stages Theatre in Hopkins last weekend and had a wonderful time. You can see Avery was grinning ear to ear sitting next to Rudolph and Hermie after the show. It runs through January 3rd, and if you or your kiddos love the annual TV movie classic of Rudolph, the musical is nearly identical to it. Definitely go see it!
The play was super special for my family, as a certain almost-7 year old has been practically obsessed with Rudolph for about 5 or so years. Here are a few of the fun pictures of her with Rudolph over the years.
She brought Rudolph with her to go see Santa!
She drew this picture for Rudolph and left it with carrots and granola for him to eat when Santa brought presents. You can just barely see her little handwriting that said Rudolph across the top.
And here she fell asleep one night holding Rudolph and wearing antlers on her head. I just can’t… my heart… and then here’s her little voice just 3 years ago… talking about Rudolph being a love story.
There are also Rudolph books and ornaments and multiple pairs of Rudolph pajamas she has already outgrown. Maybe the fact that her birthday is on Christmas Day has influenced her to embrace the season. 🙂
And I may have picked up a couple extra secret things at the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Musical last weekend…
Hope you are all finding joy and moments of peace this holiday season.
Note: We are regular patrons (and donors) of the Stages Theatre in Hopkins. These opinions and photos are my own, this was not a blogger review as we paid full price for our tickets!
While I’ve wanted to get LASIK for quite some time, I’m having some surprising feelings now that I’m so close to getting it done in just a few days. Since my goal is to be as honest and forthcoming as possible going through this experience, I wanted to share some of these feelings here.
I won’t be the same without glasses – I know that sounds silly, as obviously I’ll still be the same person. But I’ve worn glasses for the past 10 years or so consistently, only rarely wearing contacts. Many people only know me with glasses. They’ve become part of my persona. I’ve spent a lot of time and money finding just the right frames to suit my personality and for them to be just gone one day is weird to think about.
My friend Julio Ojeda-Zapata shared his own reaction about me ditching my glasses, commenting on my Facebook post earlier today, “Y’know, I’m a little sad because, as I’ve said, you look sensational in spectacles … but I’ll like the new you just as much.” I feel I can relate to my specs-wearing friends, like Julio. There’s a part of me that is sad of letting go of my glasses, and that connection with others who wear glasses.
I won’t have glasses in common with my kids – This goes way deeper than looks, this one is about family bonding and identity. Both of my kids have worn glasses the past five years. In our family pictures you can easily see that one way we are connected is that all of us are wearing glasses.